Répliques cultes de la saison 3 de Modern Family - Inscris-toi gratuitement et surfe sans pub !
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Dylan: Just for the record Mrs. Dunphy, if Haley wasn't my girlfriend and Mr. Dunphy was out of the picture, I would be honored to share your bed and raise Luke, Alex and Hayley as my own.
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Phil: I've been practicing like crazy all of my cowboy skills, shootin', ropin', pancake eatin'. Why? Because sometimes I feel like Jay doesn't respect me as a man.
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Cam: You hate her sparkly outfit, don't you?
Mitchell: No I told you it was fine, I just didn't like you wearing a matching one.
Episode 2: "When Good Kids Go Bad"
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Mitchell: The attic? Why?
Luke: At least it's big. Grandpa said you used to live in a closet.
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Phil: Guess it's just one of those things that we'll never know, like what really happened to the Titanic.
Claire: It hit an iceberg.
Phil: Maybe.
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Alex [to Haley]: Is it one more year or when you leave for college, because those happen to be two different things.
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Alex: Could you L a little less O L? Can't you see what I'm trying to do here?
Haley: Die alone?
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Mitchell: Let's face it a well fed Cam is hardly a model of emotional stability; now deprive him of food and stage by stage it's a slow descent into madness.
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Mitchell [to Cam]: You know I'm gonna check the lease, but I'm pretty sure we're not allowed to have a meth lab.
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Cam: Mitchell you are not going to believe this. I'm out with Gloria looking for her dog and I'm wearing an undershirt and I'm screaming STELLA just like in "Street Car"!
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Phil: I've always said that if my son thinks of me as one of his idiot friends, I've succeeded as a dad.
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Cam: When I get home I'm gonna scrub this place like it's a crime scene, which it is because you murdered joy.
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Phil: I'll admit it. I'm turned on by powerful women. Michelle Obama, Oprah, Condoleezza Rice, Serena Williams… Wait a minute.
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Manny: I guess I'm too proud to ask for help.
Jay: Are you kidding? She still cuts your steak.
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Jay: He wants more wow. What does that even mean?
Manny: It's the Bieberization of America.
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Luke [about his money]: It's in a block of ice. I got the idea when I heard a bunch of rich guys talking about their frozen assets. Haha assets.
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Gloria: I cannot believe he spent 50 dollars on this.
Jay: I know! He could've gotten a two-year subscription to Playboy for that.
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Julian: I'm not gay, I'm French.
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Cameron: You're going to find somebody because you're an amazing girl Katie, you're the whole package, I just prefer someone who has one.
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Haley: Dear College, Cheese makes me gassy, see you in September.
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Phil: I have three kids and at least one of them is going to college. Worst case scenario, they all go!
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Alex [to Haley]: You have your fans, I have mine. And one day, your fans are gonna work for my fans.
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Jay: The pain must've been bad if I accepted Phil's help.
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Cam: It's a somber occasion and all of my tops are too joyful.
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Gloria [about Jay]: If you want him to stop lifting stuff, put it in grocery bags and put a football game on TV.
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Haley: Saying nothing is not lying. It's just letting the truth speak for itself.
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Jay: If you told him the truth he'd thank you later.
Gloria: Like Claire and Mitch, did they thank you?
Jay: Not yet, but it's coming.
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Phil: If I had a son I'd want him to be like Kenneth.
Claire: You do have a son.
Episode 10: "Express Christmas"
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Cam: Why so much tape Jay?
Jay: Why are you wearing a sweater when it's 95 degrees out?
Cam: It's my Christmas sweater!
Jay: Based on those stains, you are the Christmas sweater.
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Alex: Okay just because my uncle is clearly gay, doesn't mean he'd ever want your tacky pink tree. And frankly, we'd rather throw some lights on our coat rack than have to deal with knuckledraggers like you, today of all days...December 16th.
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Gloria: Luke!
Luke: At what?
Gloria: What do you mean at what? I said Luke.
Luke: I am looking!
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Mitchell: I'm so glad I spoke to Alex because she agreed with every single thing that I was saying...which made me realize that I was acting like a 14-year-old girl.
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Alex [to Claire]: First get a mirror, then you're gonna look into it and you're gonna see a crazy woman. She needs your help.
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Jay: Sometimes the best thing to do in a race to the top is grease the pole behind you.
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Cam: It's kind of like a first date.
Mitchell: Actually it's the opposite of the first date. You don't want to have sex, but you do want a baby.
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Gloria: That's when you know your family loves you, when they feel free to scream at you.
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Cam: I'm sorry but you know I have two weakness: children cursing and old people rapping!
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Luke: You yelled at my teacher for calling me special.
Claire: Honey that wasn't a compliment.
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Phil: Some voters find Claire angry and unlikeable. To those voters I would say...wait till she reads this.
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Phil: You can kiss my wife, you can take her to bed, but only I can make her laugh.
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Gloria: I know you can't tell by looking at me, but I'm not a natural homemaker.
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Phil: He got divorced and his whole life opened up. Guy's living the dream.
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Cam: I'm playing a drinking game. It's called everytime I feel depressed about something, I take a drink.
Mitchell: That's already a game. It's called alcoholism.
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Phil [to Claire]: You're going to have Cam's baby just to avoid it being weird?
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Jay: Isn't it enough this family spends a lot of time together? Now we have to inbreed?
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Mitchell: And what are we supposed to tell the baby? Say hi to your Aunt Mommy!
Episode 16: "Virgin Territory"
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Claire [to Gloria]: I live with 4 teenagers, you live with 2 adults.
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Manny: She's like a dream, wrapped in a wish, poured into jeggings.
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Haley [to Alex]: She promised she wouldn't tell Dad until after I left for college, which means that he may never have found out.
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Gloria [punches guy]: Nobody calls him grandpa!
Luke: I do.
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Luke: It smells like puke married poop and they had the ceremony in my nose.
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Mitchell: Okay birthday boy, what's it gonna be, rom-com or horror? Or we could do both and watch Maid in Manhattan.
Episode 18: "Send Out the Clowns"
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Cam: We were great together, we spoke each other's language, we finished each other's balloon animals.
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Phil: I'm like a boxer before a fight, that's why I didn't have sex with Claire last night.
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Claire: Hey how come you guys haven't accepted my friend requests?
Haley: I didn't know you were on Facebook.
Alex: Yeah you said it was only for teenagers or people who wanted to have affairs.
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Phil: I'm just excited. After today you're going to be a councilwoman and I'm going to be a first husband.
Claire: If you don't stop filming, you're going to be MY first husband.
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Manny: I believe I made it clear the bedrooms were off limits. Young lady, I don't think you're ready up here for what you're planning to do up there.
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Claire: Phil do we have to go through this again? I told you that I would do everything possibly to make sure that your skeleton ends up in a science class at a women's college.
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Phil [about Walt's death]: It was very peaceful. Not the letter, that was full of threats.
Episode 21: "Planes, Trains and Cars"
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Cam: We'll just get on the next train and catch up!
Mitchell: Yeah, they don't catch up. That's a collision!
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Cam: You're right, I should've used Helvetica. It much better represents the urgency of our situation.
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Phil: I am not leaving your mother.
Luke: Like its your choice.
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Phil: Alex is teaching herself Chinese so she'll be useful when they finish buying us.
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Luke: Dad we can always find cool stuff to do. Even if you're old in a wheelchair, I'll take you to the mall and push you as fast as you wanna go.
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Mitchell: I haven't been judged by this many people since I forgot my canvas bags at Whole Foods.
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Jay: Tired of walking in those heels?
Gloria: No, tired of having a hot wife?
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Gloria: Is that a leash?
Cam: It's a child safety tether.
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Claire [about Haley]: If she's going to leave the nest, we'd prefer it's not on the back of a motorcycle.
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Manny: I may not be the tallest or the most athletic, but someday I'll be the richest which is good because the ladies love that. And I've grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle.
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Mitchell: You can't get fired from a favor!
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Alex: This will all be over in 90 seconds. Hold you poses, I really want to impress Mister Gorgeous.
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Cam: You don't know terror until you have to stare down the eyes of a Missouri state trooper and talk your way out of a PUI.
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Maxine [to Gloria]: So you're married to Jay, where'd you tie up that seeing eye dog?
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Claire: I say no everyday in this house.
Phil: But at night she's a yes machine.
Claire: No.
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Mitchell: I think I'm laying on a rock.
Cam: I'm laying next to mine.
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Dylan: Look I know that you're concerned, but I'm designing tshirts now. They're gonna be huge. Also medium and small.
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Luke: Are you doing sex?
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Cam: Oh I'm sorry are my pinkies up? They do that when I get excited. Down girls.
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Claire: You look adorable!
Alex: Adorable? I'm not a puppy.
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Phil [to Alex]: Always keep the rhythm in your feet and a little party in your shoulders.
