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#205 : Ordi soit qui mal y pense

Titre en VO: Unplugged
Titre en VF
: Ordi soit qui mal y pense

Diffusion US: 20 octobre 2010 sur ABC
Diffusion FR: 21 août 2011 sur Paris Première
Ecrit par: Steven Levitan
Réalisé par: Michael Spiller 

Claire et Phil souhaitent resserer les liens familiaux. Pour se faire, ils décident de lancer un défi à tous les Dunphy: celui qui parviendra le plus possible à se passer de tout objet électronique, aura remporté le concours. La compétition s'annonce rude. De leur côté, Cameron et Mitchell tentent d'inscrire Lily dans la meilleure école possible. Quant à Jay et Manny, ils s'inquiètent lorsque le chien insupportable du voisin disparaît et commencent à soupçonner Gloria

Michael Rothaar Invité Larry
Carla Renatta Invitée Nikki
Lauren Cohan Invitée La réceptionniste
Libby Baker Invitée Stéphanie
Kiran Deol Invitée Kavita
Taylor Nichols Invité  M Plympton

Titre VO
Unplugged

Titre VF
Ordi soit qui mal y pense

Première diffusion
20.10.2010

Première diffusion en France
21.08.2011

Vidéos

Plus de détails

[Chez Jay et Gloria]

 

Manny entre dans la chambre de Jay et Gloria  car il ne peut pas dormir: le chien du voisin n'arrête pas d'aboyer. Ça n'a pas l'air de déranger Jay, qui a une moins bonne audition en raison de son âge. Mais Gloria décide de s'en mêler et part chez ses voisins.

 

[Chez Mitchell et Cameron]

 

Mitchell rentre de son jogging en catastrophe car il vient de croiser d'autres parents avec qui il avait fait le pacte d'attendre un an avant de mettre leurs enfants à l'école maternelle. Apparemment, les autres parents ont rompu leur promesse et leurs enfants vont déjà à l'école.

 

[Chez les Dunphy]

 

Claire sert le petit-déjeuner à sa famille, dont chaque membre est devant un écran; elle déplore leur manque de conversation lorsqu'elle reçoit un appel de Mitchell lui demandant de lui arranger un rendez-vous avec le directeur de l'école maternelle de Haley, Alex et Luke. Elle accepte, avant de leur déconseiller une autre école privée très onéreuse. Puis elle raccroche lorsqu'elle se rend compte que Luke est en train de manger ses céréales sans les mains pour pouvoir continuer à jouer à sa console.

 

[Chez Jay et Gloria]

 

Gloria, Jay et Manny sortent pour parler à leur voisin de son chien. Celui-ci blame son ex-femme et refuse de faire quoi que ce soit.

 

[Chez les Dunphy]

 

Claire et Phil ont rassemblé leurs enfants pour leur annoncer qu'ils sont interdits d'appareils électroniques pendant une semaine. Pour rendre la chose plus attrayante, Phil promet à celui qui tiendra le plus longtemps ce qu'il veut: Alex demande un nouvel ordinateur, Luke une tourte au poulet et Haley une voiture.

 

[Dans une école maternelle]

 

Mitchell et Cameron sont assis, en attendant d'être reçus par la directrice pour un entretien pour Lily. La secrétaire les entend s'inquiéter de comment faire une bonne impression et les rassure en leur disant que ce qu'une école recherche le plus est la mixité, et qu'un couple d'homosexuels avec une petite fille d'origine asiatique n'a aucune raison de s'inquiéter.

 

[Chez Jay et Gloria]

 

Le voisin sonne de manière répétitive chez eux, et accuse Jay, qui vient lui ouvrir, d'avoir pris son chien. Gloria arrive à son tour à la porte et hurle sur le voisin, outrée qu'il puisse les soupçonner d'avoir touché à son chien. Jay lui claque la porte au nez, puis demande à Gloria ce qu'elle a réellement fait du chien, ce à quoi elle ne répond rien.

 

[Devant la caméra – Jay]

 

Il explique que comme la famille de Gloria était composée de beaucoup de bouchers, elle n'a aucun mal à tuer des animaux, et cela l'inquiète quant au sort du chien du voisin.

 

[Chez les Dunphy]

 

Cela fait 24 heures que la famille n'utilise plus Internet, et Phil admire Claire pour son idée: en effet, il a eu le temps de s'essayer à la méditation, Haley s'occupe d'un projet de sciences pour son lycée et Luke s'amuse parfaitement avec des boîtes de conserve. C'est lorsqu'un de ses amis l'appelle pour lui parler d'une nouvelle vidéo sur You Tube que Luke décide d'abandonner le concours. Puis Alex revient de l'école très énervée car en n'utilisant que de vieilles encyclopédies pour son devoir, elle a eu une mauvaise note. Elle décide donc à son tour de sortir de la course.

 

[Chez Jay et Gloria]

 

Jay entre dans la chambre de Manny, qui est en train de lire. Il lui demande ce qu'il pense que Gloria a fait au chien, et Manny répond qu'il préfère ne pas savoir.

 

[Chez Mitchell et Cameron]

 

Mitchell est au téléphone; il arrange un rendez-vous avec une école maternelle de haut rang, Billingsley, contre l'avis de Cam, qui aimait beaucoup la première école moins sophistiquée qu'ils avaient visitée. Puis Claire appelle pour leur annoncer que la première école les a accepté. Cam est très content, mais Mitchell refuse la place, car il est confiant que Lily sera acceptée dans l'autre école.

 

[Chez Jay et Gloria]

 

Jay entre discrètement dans le garage pour vérifier s'il n'y a pas de traces de chien sur la pelle lorsque Manny entre. Il l'aide à regarder quand soudain Gloria apparaît derrière eux pour leur demander ce qu'ils font. Lorsqu'elle apprend qu'ils pensent qu'elle a tué le chien, elle s'en va, apparemment choquée.

Plus tard, elle s'indigne que Jay ait pu penser d'elle une telle chose. Elle lui montre alors une photo qu'elle a prise lorsqu'elle a amené le chien dans une famille à la campagne qui a été ravie de l'adopter, puis elle sort.

 

[Devant la caméra – Claire]

 

Elle explique à quel point le concours est difficile, étant donné qu'ils sont la seule famille a ne plus utiliser Internet. Elle a par exemple eu beaucoup de mal à réserver des billets d'avion, et a craqué en ouvrant son ordinateur. Instantanément, Phil et Haley sont arrivés dans son dos pour la disqualifier.

 

[A Billingsley]

 

Cam et Mitchell reviennent d'une visite guidée de l'école, tous les deux très excités et très confiants, jusqu'à l'arrivée d'un couple de lesbiennes dont l'une est en fauteuil roulant et qui ont adopté un enfant africain.

 

[Devant la caméra – Cam et Mitchell]

 

Ils sont démoralisés de la compétition.

 

[Chez les Dunphy]

 

Phil lit pour la première fois depuis longtemps un journal papier, où il apprend qu'une équipe sportive sur laquelle il avait parié a perdu un de ses joueurs. Il voudrait rectifier ça sur Internet, mais Claire l'en empêche. Ils sont en train de se disputer lorsqu'ils entendent Haley parler seule. Persuadés qu'elle ne respecte pas la règle en étant au téléphone, ils montent dans sa chambre et la surprennent effectivement en train de parler à une amie. Soulagé que le concours soit terminé, Phil se rue sur un ordinateur pour annuler son pari. C'est ce moment que choisit Haley pour leur montrer que le portable dans lequel elle parlait était en fait un morceau de savon coloré au marqueur qu'elle avait fabriqué, impliquant qu'elle a gagné le concours et qu'elle va obtenir son prix: une voiture.

 

[A Billingsley]

 

Mitchell et Cam rencontrent le directeur, qui leur demande de se démarquer des autres parents. Lorsqu'ils apprennent que beaucoup d'autres parents sont également des avocats, et que la profession de Mitchell n'est donc pas exceptionnelle, ils paniquent et Cam commence à parler avec un accent étrange, d'après lui hérité d'un ancêtre Cherokee.

 

[Chez les Dunphy]

 

Claire et Phil sont en train d'annoncer à Haley qu'elle n'aura pas son prix car ils ne peuvent pas se le permettre lorsque Cam et Mitchell arrivent, annonçant qu'ils n'ont pas été pris à Billingsley.

 

[Chez Jay et Gloria]

 

C'est le soir, et Jay descend voir Gloria qui n'est pas montée se coucher car elle lui en veut toujours. Pour se faire pardonner de s'être méfié d'elle à cause de ses origines, il lui annonce qu'il lui offre un voyage en Colombie.

 

[Devant la caméra – Gloria]

 

Elle refuse de laisser Jay aller dans son village natal à cause de tous les animaux qu'elle a tués là-bas.

 

[Flashback – A Billingsley]

 

Cam se ridiculise en inventant des noms bizarres à sa famille et en s'exprimant d'une façon étrange.

Manny : Mom. The dog again...

Gloria : I know Papi, I want to strangle that crazy old thing.

Jay : Just ignore it.

Gloria : It's easy for you to ignore because you have the old-man hearing. But Manny and I... we have the young ears.

Jay : I don't get how one dog keeps you awake when you grew up sleeping through cockfights and revolutions.

Gloria : Mm-hmm. Very funny, Jay. Manny hasn't been able to sleep in weeks. It's screwing his brain for school. And it doesn't stop. It goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on.

Jay : Yes, that could be annoying.

Gloria : That's it. I'm going over there.

Jay : Gloria, now, don't go starting something. Because whenever you do, I'm the one that... that, she couldn't hear.

 

Mitchell : They're gone. Cam. All the children are gone.

Cameron : What children?

Mitchell : I was running in the park, and I noticed that none of the kids Lily usually plays with were there.

Cameron : Well, it's still early.

Mitchell : But then I ran into Lori.

Cameron : Boobs Lori or adult-braces Lori?

Mitchell : Great-shoes Lori.

Cameron : Oh, I like her.

Mitchell : And she said that they all sent their kids to preschool.

Cameron : What?! We agreed to wait till next year.

Mitchell : It was a fake-out to make sure that their kids got a spot.

Cameron : Those skinny bitches.

Mitchell : We have got to get her into school, Cameron, Or else she's gonna fall behind.

Cameron : Don't you think I know that?

Mitchell : Oh, this is perfect. Oh, leave it to the gays to raise the only underachieving Asian in America.

 

Claire : Okay, here you go. Guys, breakfast. Guys. Phil. Hello.

Phil : Totally with you. Kids, put your dishes in the dishwasher.

Claire : Okay, no. That's it. Everybody, gadgets down now!

Haley : Why are you freaking out?

Claire : Because you're all so involved with your little gizmos, Nobody is even talking. Families are supposed to talk. What are you doing that's so important?

Phil : Oh, I'm locking in my fantasy roster. I'm unbeatable. We're totally getting an aboveground pool.

Luke : Die, stupid, die!

Claire : Luke, I told you to put that down now. Come on, buddy.

Luke : One second. I'm about to beat dad's record.

Phil : You heard your mother.

Claire ; What is so funny?

Alex : Nothing. "mom's insane."

Claire : Thank you, Haley.

Haley : At least we talk.

Claire : Hello.

 

Mitchell : Hey, it's me. What's a good preschool?

Claire : Uh, well, our kids went to Wagon Wheel.

Mitchell : And it was good? You liked it?

Claire : Oh, well, you know my kids are middle-management material at best. Didn't want to waste a lot of money... Yes, Mitchell, it's good.  Why the interest?

Mitchell : I just realized that all of Lily's friends are going to school this year, and now she's late.

Claire : Don't worry. She can wait another year. Just buy her a Blackberry, that's all she's gonna want to do anyway.

Cameron : What did she say?

Mitchell : She says to buy her a Blackberry.

Cameron : Lily doesn't have the dexterity for that, Claire!

Claire : What is happening?

Mitchell : Can you just check with your school and see if maybe you can get us in?

Claire : Hmm. I-I can probably get you an interview.

Mitchell : Oh, no. That's great. That's great. Thank you. I really appreciate it. Oh, and, by the way, what do you think of that place Billingsley academy?

Claire : Ooh. Billingsley. Very hoity-toity. You can't get in there unless you're really rich or you know somebody on the board.

Mitchell : Oh, god, this is a nightmare.

Claire : Mitch, it's preschool. Don't overthink it. My kids didn't go to Billingsley, and they are fine. I have to go. Phil. that's awesome.

 

[OPENING CREDITS]

 

Gloria : Buenos días.

Larry : Hi.

Gloria : We haven't formally met. I'm Gloria Pritchett from next door.

Larry : Larry Paulson. Yeah, I've seen you. Lucky guy.

Jay : Wait a minute, then tell me.

Gloria : Your dog doesn't stop barking. All morning, all night. He wakes my son up, and he needs his sleep.

Larry : It's not my dog. It's my soon-to-be ex-wife's. She moved out three weeks ago.

Jay : Is she coming back for it?

Larry : Not unless it starts crapping money.

Gloria : Well, you need to do something about the dog.

Larry : The dog is old and stupid.

Manny : Who are you really mad at, Larry? The dog or your wife?

Larry : Who the hell is this kid?

Jay : Hey, there's no need for that.

Gloria : I'll tell you who he is. His name is "shut up your damn dog"!

Larry : You know what's ironic? You come over here complaining, and I have never once said a word about that obnoxious parrot of yours that's always squawking.

Jay : Parrot?

Gloria : What parrot?

 

Gloria : Jay! Jay! Jay!

 

Gloria : What is he talking about? What parrot?

Jay : How the hell do I know?

Gloria : So, what do we do now?

Jay : Nothing. We did it. He heard us.

Gloria : He didn't hear nothing. Jay, don't go. Jay! Jay! Jay!

 

Claire : Okay, we have called this family meeting because the personal electronics have gotten out of control. Starting today, there's going to be a one-week ban on all cellphones, texting, Im'ing, video chatting, video-gaming, Anything on the internet.

Alex : How am I supposed to do my homework?

Claire : The way I did.

Phil : With a chisel and a piece of stone.

Claire : Phil.

Phil : Can't unplug my funny bone.

Alex : I have a huge science paper due.

Claire : And we have a great set of encyclopedias...somewhere. What do you think the public library is for?

Haley : I thought that was a bathroom for homeless people.

Luke : Can I still play plants vs. Zombies?

Claire : Are you not listening?

Luke : But you learn about plants. And plants are life. Are you against life?

Haley : How am I supposed to talk to my friends?

Claire : Talk to them at school.

Phil : Or at a juice bar.

Claire : Or on the house phone.

Haley : Nobody even knows our number. I don't even know our number.

Alex : So, you're saying dad's not going to go online?

Claire : Yep.

Alex : Dad?

Phil : That's right.

Alex : What about fantasy football?

Phil : Not a problem. My team's set this week. I am completely on board with your mother's horse and buggy to yesteryear. for the next week, I may as well be Amish. Jebediah Dunphy. Raising barns, witnessing murders, Making electric fireplace hearths.

Haley : Oh! This is so unfair!

Phil : You know what? We're gonna make this fun. Turn it into a game. Whoever stays unplugged the longest, wins.

Claire : Not what I had in mind, Phil.

Alex : What do we win?

Phil : What do you want?

Alex : I want a new computer.

Phil : Done.

Claire : We're gonna get them off of electronics with the promise of more electronics?

Luke : I want chicken pot pie. And chicken.

Haley : I want a car.

Claire : No way!

Phil :Done!

Haley : Yeah, I'm getting a car!

Phil : Yeah, fun, right?

Claire : Phil! We cannot afford a third car.

Phil : Relax. They're never gonna last as long as us.

Claire : Oh, honey, don't take this the wrong way, But I have almost no faith in you.

 

Secretary : Joanie will be right out. She's just finishing up another interview.

Cameron : Okay. Thank you.

Mitchell : Thank you. Thank you.

Secretary : You're welcome.

Cameron : I really like this place. Look at all these drawings.

Mitchell : I know.

Cameron : And did you see the duckies in the yard? Lily loves duckies.

Mitchell : I know.

Cameron : I'm gonna mention that.

Mitchell : Okay, well, do, because that's really gonna set her apart from the rest of the kids.

Cameron : Oh. We should also mention how she always perks up when we watch "Charlie Rose."

Mitchell : That was one time. He was interviewing Elmo.

Secretary : You boys ought to relax.

Mitchell : Oh, I'm sorry. We just... we really want to make a good impression.

Secretary : Mm. Gay adoptive parents with a minority baby? Sugars, you can get into any school you want.

Mitchell : Really?

Secretary : Oh, you didn't know that? oh, yeah. All of these schools like to brag about their diversity. You're diverse times three. In demand. You're like Jimmy Buffett tickets to these hybrid-driving, straight white folks.

Cameron : I hear that, girl.

Secretary : Yeah.

 

Jay : I'm coming!

Larry : Where the hell is the dog?

Gloria : Who is it?

Jay : It's our neighbor.

Larry : The dog is gone.

Jay : Maybe it ran away.

Larry : It was chained to a tree.

Gloria : Maybe your wife took it.

Larry : According to my credit card, my wife is in Europe, searching for the world's most expensive hotel.

Jay : Then what do you want from us?

Larry : You come over complaining about the dog and the next day it's gone? You tell me.

Jay : I'll tell...

Gloria : How dare you? You come to our house, you ring our bell many times, and you accuse us of taking your dog.

Jay : You should go home.

Larry : We're not done here.

Jay : Yes, we are. What did you do?

Gloria : You don't want to know.

 

Jay : Gloria's grandfather and uncles were butchers, so she's always had a certain comfort level when it comes to...Killing. One time, we had this rat...

 

Gloria : What? First you smash it, then you cut the head off.

 

Jay : It was like nothing to her.

 

Gloria : I go to church now.

 

Jay : She left the head out there to send a message to the other rats.

 

Phil : Hey.

Claire : Hi, honey. How was your day at work?

Phil : Amazing.

Claire : Mwah. Great. What happened?

Phil : Instead of wasting my lunch hour surfing the web, checking football stats, I put on some mellow music, And I meditated.

Claire : Wow. For how long?

Phil : I have no idea. I just woke up 20 minutes ago.

Haley : Hey, mom. I need a bar of soap and a black marker for an art project.

Claire : Okay. Well, the marker's over there, And the soap is under the sink. Isn't it great how much time you have now that you're not wasting it online?

Haley : Oh, my god. Is this what you always sound like?

Luke : Look what I built, dad. Dunphy towers. 200 condos, a happy family in every one.

Phil : Way to go, buddy. I got to hand it to you, honey. 24 hours without video games, He's already contributing to society.

Luke : Die! Die!

Claire : To be fair, he's using his imagination.

Luke : There's no fire escapes! They cut corners! I'll cut your corners!

Claire : Hello? Oh, hi. Luke, honey, it's for you. Hi, Griffin. How are you? Yeah, he's right here. Hold on.

Luke : Hey, Griffin. Oh, my god!

Claire : What happened?

Luke : There's a parasailing-donkey video on Youtube.

Phil : Oh, my god!

Claire : Wait, Luke. What about the contest?

Luke : I quit. I'm not made of stone, you know.

Alex : Uhh! I can't believe it. I got a "b" on my paper.

Phil : Good for you.

Claire : Yeah.

Alex : No, it would be good for you. It's terrible for me. Thanks to your moldy encyclopedias, my take on mitosis was completely out of date. They don't even call it protoplasm anymore. It's cytoplasm.

Claire : Well, you could have asked one of us.

Alex : Now you're making jokes?

Claire : I'm not making a joke.

Alex : Really? What's the difference between a gamete and a zygote?

Phil : Don't fall for it, Claire. She's just making up words.

Claire : Huh.

Alex : That's it. I need the internet. I'm out of your stupid contest.

Haley : Hmm. And then there were three.

Phil : She's kind of scary.

Claire : We're not buying her a car.

 

Jay : Hey, buddy, what you reading?

Manny : "The old man and the sea."

Jay : You like it?

Manny : I like that Hemingway gets to the point.

Jay : You read a lot of his stuff.

Manny : That was a hint, Jay.

Jay : Oh. Oh, okay. I want to ask you something... between you and me.

Manny : You want to know if I think my mom did something to that dog.

Jay : Yeah.

Manny : Sit.

Jay : Don't most kids drink soda?

Manny : Who knows what they do?

Gloria : So, your mom.

Manny : Jay, I've learned a few things in my 12 years. Don't skimp on linens, don't compliment a teacher on her figure, And when it comes to my mom, never ask questions I don't want the answers to.

Jay : I don't buy it. Sensitive kid like you. I think you want to know every bit as much as I do.

Manny : You're wrong.

Jay : Then why is your hand shaking?

Manny : This is my fifth one of these today. I may have a problem.

Jay : Okay. That's enough.

 

Mitchell : No, no, no, 4:00 tomorrow is fine. Yeah, my life partner and I will see you then. Thank... thank you.

Cameron : Since when do you call me your life partner?

Mitchell : Since a spot opened up at Billingsley academy.

Cameron : But I liked Wagon Wheel. It had all the duckies. And it reminded me of where I went in Missouri.

Mitchell : Cam, everyone goes to Billingsley for a reason... It's the Harvard of preschools.

Cameron : She's not even 2 years old yet. She doesn't need the Harvard of preschools. She needs finger painting and duckies.

Mitchell : I'm begging you to please just say "ducks." Hello?

Claire : Great news. Wagon Wheel loved you. You're in.

Mitchell : Oh. Wagon wheel wants us.

Cameron : Oh, yes!

Mitchell : Okay. Well, that's great and everything, but actually we have an appointment tomorrow at Billingsley.

Claire : Really?

Mitchell : Yeah, apparently we are in very high demand.

Claire : Oh, well, just so you know, I don't think Wagon Wheel is gonna hold a place for you.

Mitchell : Well, I think we're gonna take our chance.

Claire : Take our chance? That sounds chancy. You know, Mitchell, you were the one who called me in a panic. You were the one who needed me to get you in.

Mitchell : I'm sorry, Claire. I didn't mean to put you out. But let's not get too dramatic here. You wrote an e-mail.

Claire : It wasn't an e-mail. It was a phone call from a land line.

Cameron : What did you do?

Mitchell : What's best for Lily.

Cameron : Did you?

Mitchell : Cam, this is the first time that being gay is a competitive advantage. They're choosing teams for gym class, And we're finally getting picked first.

Cameron : I always got picked first. I could throw a dodgeball through a piece of plywood. But I see your point.

 

Jay : Hey. Don't sneak up on me like that. What are you doing out here?

Manny : You got in my head about my mom. Is that the rat shovel?

Jay : Yeah.

Manny : Are you checking it for signs of dog?

Jay : I was going to.

Manny : Well, let's do this quick. If she catches us, we're as dead as that dog probably is.

Gloria : What are you doing here?

Nothing.

Gloria : Why are you looking at that shovel? Do you think someone did something with that shovel, Manny?

Manny : He thinks you killed the dog.

Jay : You little rat.

Manny : Don't call me a rat! She kills rats!

 

Gloria : You really think that I would kill a dog?

Jay : Well, what was I supposed to think?

Gloria : I don't know. How about I didn't kill a dog?

Jay : Just tell me what you did with it.

Gloria : He's in a better place.

Jay : That's what people say when something's dead.

Gloria : Okay, fine. I took him to a farm where he has plenty of room to run.

Jay : That's the second thing people say when something's dead.

Gloria : My hairdresser's brother has three kids. They live in the country. They were so happy to have the dog that they gave me a jar of pickles. Is that also what they say when something is dead?

Jay : Really?

Gloria : Look. Look how happy they are, Instead of him being tied to a tree outside With no one to talk to.

Jay : Why didn't you just tell me this in the first place?

Gloria : Like you would be okay with me stealing a dog?

Jay : No.

Gloria : Exactly. That's why I didn't tell you. Now the dog is happy, Manny can sleep, and we have pickles.

Jay : Okay, it worked out this time, But don't forget that stealing is against the law. Now, maybe in Colombia...

Gloria : Ah, here we go, Because in Colombia we trip over goats and we kill people in the street. Do you know how offensive that is? Like we are Peruvians!

 

Claire : The contest was hard. Reservations. Even though we had sworn off the internet, The rest of the world hadn't.

 

Claire : Orlando. Domestic. Representative. Representative! Representative!

Computer voice : You've got mail.

Phil : Really, Claire?

Claire : You don't understand. I was trying to deal with our plane tickets to visit your family.

Haley : Please stop. You're just embarrassing yourself. Well, it looks like it's just you and me, old man.

Phil : Bring it.

 

Secretary : And finally, here we are back at the office. If you two would like to take a seat, I will let Mr. Plympton know that you're here.

Mitchell : Thank you.

Cameron : Yes, thank you. This place is amazing!

Mitchell : I told you.

Cameron : It's like Hogwarts!

Mitchell : The ladybug sanctuary.

Cameron : Oh, my gosh. The little cobblestones.

Mitchell : So sweet. I know.

Cameron : Screw the duckies. We belong here. Do you think they're gonna let us in?

Mitchell : Cam, relax. We're queer, we're here.

Cameron : Yes, we are.

Secretary : Okay. Just a few more minutes.

Cameron : Thank you.

Mitchell : Yes, thank you.

Stephanie : Hi. I'm Stephanie Kaner. And this is Javar. We have an interview with Mr. Plympton.

Secretary : Wonderful. These two are first. You'll be next.

Mitchell : Single white mother, black child.

Cameron : So what? Lily's Asian. We're gay. In the school admissions poker game, we're the winning hand.

Stephanie : Oh, honey, sorry. My partner Kavita.

Kavita : Hi. Nice to meet you.

Secretary : Hello. Nice to meet you. It will be just a few minutes.

 

Cameron : Disabled interracial lesbians with an African kicker.

Mitchell : Did not see that coming.

 

Phil : It's been a while since I read an actual newspaper. Missed that sound. No, no, no, no!

Claire : What is it?

Phil : Brady's injured. No! He's my whole team. I have to change my roster.

Claire : Honey, if you can't do it over the phone, You can't do it, because we're not buying Haley a car.

Phil : Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well... Well, I'm just gonna go to the bathroom.

Claire : Phil Dunphy, don't you even dream of it.

Phil : Claire, all my friends are in that league. I'm gonna look like an idiot.

Claire : So what?

Phil : So I paid a huge entrance fee.

Claire : How huge?

Phil : Not huge. Tiny. Oh, my goodness. How is she not cracking up there? Listen to her.

Haley : No, I know, but do you know?

Claire : Wait a minute. She's alone.

Phil : So?

Claire : She's alone.

Phil : Oh, my god.

Haley : I know. You should see her pants. I'll text it to you. Oh, wait. Okay. Hold on. I'll send it.

Claire : Ha! Aha!

Phil : Aha! Busted!

Haley : Sophie, I have to call you back.

Phil : I knew it. I knew you couldn't do it. I told you I'd outlast them.

Haley : This sucks!

Alex : What's going on?

Phil : I'll tell you what's going on. I win. Nobody gets a car, I dump Tom Brady, and our long Amish nightmare is over.

Claire : I can't believe you thought You were gonna put one over on us.

Haley : I can't believe That he's actually already on the internet.

Phil : Believe it, girl.

Haley : So, you're actually online right now?

Phil : Yep.

Haley : Well, then I hate to break it to you, daddy, but you lose.

Phil : What?

Claire : What?

Haley : This isn't my phone. I carved it out of a bar of soap and colored it in with a marker.

Claire : Phil, she carved a telephone out of a bar of soap.

Haley : I can't believe it! I'm getting a car!

Phil : Holy crap, we've been Shawshanked.

 

Mr. Plympton : Sorry about the delay. I was going over the plans for our new dance studio.

Cameron : Wow.

Mr. Plympton : So, tell me about yourselves.

Mitchell : Uh, well, I'm a lawyer.

Mr. Plympton : Many of our applicants are attorneys.

Mitchell : Of course.

Mr. Plympton : What sets you apart?

Mitchell : Um, well, I...

Cameron : While my white-man name is Tucker, I am 1/16 Cherokee. Ready for child to soar like eagle.

Mitchell : Oh, god.

 

Haley : So, what are you saying?

Claire : You're not getting a car.

Haley : But I won.

Phil : Yes, but we never thought you would.

Haley : So?

Claire : So, congratulations on your victory. Nobody can ever take that away from you.

Phil : So true.

Haley : But I spent two days in my room talking to a bar of soap. It's not fair.

Phil : It's totally not fair.

Claire : We're outraged.

Phil : Bad parenting.

Haley : But we had a deal.

Phil : Which, in hindsight, was utter nonsense.

Claire : Hey.

Mitchell : We hated Billingsley.

Cameron : The place is so stupid.

Claire : Ugh! You blew the interview, didn't you?

Mitchell : Lesbians.

Cameron : In a wheelchair.

Claire : Oh.

 

Jay : You still mad at me?

Gloria : You tell me. What is this?

Jay : I've been thinking if you said as much about America as I said about Colombia, I'd be plenty ticked off. Doesn't make up for everything, but...

Gloria : A trip to Colombia?

Jay : I want to see your village, learn your culture.  I love you. I'm sure I'm gonna love where you come from.

Gloria : Aw, Jay. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

 

Gloria : No way he's going to my village. I was in a car accidents when I was living there. Both times I hit a goat. One was hurt pretty bad. But it was a good thing I had a shovel in the trunk.

 

Cameron : That, though I layretold with fire-haired man, The giving hawk would bring us baby with her skin the color of sweet corn, which my people call maize.

Mitchell : Please stop.

Mr. Plympton : Well, um...

Cameron : Knowledge is her sustenance, like so much maize... which, you'll remember, means "corn.

Mitchell : What if I was a single dad?

Kikavu ?

Au total, 27 membres ont visionné cet épisode ! Ci-dessous les derniers à l'avoir vu...

Kln16 
16.08.2018 vers 13h

Aloha81 
29.07.2018 vers 16h

vampire141 
10.02.2018 vers 20h

Annaelle19 
08.06.2017 vers 15h

u2pop 
17.03.2017 vers 19h

Annaelle80 
16.03.2017 vers 12h

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juju93, Hier à 21:22

Nouvelle PDM sur The L Word : Laurel Holloman et ses adorables petites filles attendent vos votes .

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Et toujours le tournoi de chant. Encore quelques votes pour la 2ème demi-finale ? Ce serait super ! Merci d'avance.

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Le quartier Castle propose actuellement 4 quiz pour ceux qui ont suivi les premières saisons. Merci et bonne soirée!

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